Misplaced Memories
by Luminesyra
Summary: It has been two months since Artemis has come back to the land of the living. Though he has regained his memories, he doesn't truly believe they are his, shattering Holly's world when everything changes. Post TLG, A/H.
1. Chapter 1

Holly's heartbeat skyrocketed as Artemis's eyes opened. The clone sat up gingerly, his sharp blue eyes looked around in bewilderment, portraying a mind that knew everything, yet nothing.

"Stay back, you don't know what you are dealing with." the cold tone brought so much joy, yet so much hollowness to Holly's heart. He was alive, but didn't remember them.

—

"This is all quite a bit to process. I remember everything, but the memories do not feel like my own. I feel as though I am living through a stranger's body." Artemis stared blankly at his hands, knowing they were his, but they seemed so foreign.

"I know this is a lot to handle, Artemis, but it's who you are."

"I know. It will take some adjusting. It is not every day someone comes back from the dead."

That was the least of Holly's concerns. What she really wanted to know was, would it be the same?

Would he love her too?

—

Holly was gazing out the study's window when Artemis entered the room, holding a tray with a pitcher of ice water and some food on it.

"Hey, Artemis." she smiled, but there was an unmistakable sadness in her mismatched eyes that sent a sharp pang of guilt through Artemis' heart, knowing it was his fault, but unsure how to fix it.

"Good afternoon, Captain. Are you hungry?" he asked, setting down the tray covered in ripe fruits and vegetables that he had probably picked fresh minutes ago. She simply shook her head.

_Captain? He hasn't called me that so formally in years. _She turned back to the window, lost in thought as she gazed at the rolling Irish hills.

Artemis seemed the same on the outside. Still just as sarcastic and taunting to Foaly, still just as infuriating to Trouble. But, with her, it wasn't the same. He acted different around her, more hesitant, as thought she were a delicate china doll that would shatter at the slightest provocation.

Which is exactly how she felt on the inside, but she refused to let him know that.

Her emotions were in utter turmoil now that he was back. The crushing depression, sadness and hollow rage were almost easier to deal with than the raging torrent that brewed inside her.

She fingered the thin, crisscrossing scars that peppered her forearm. _Almost._

The gray, overcast skies cast a shadow over more than the valley. It seemed to help the fear and doubt worm its way into her mind, feeding it and letting it fester into an incurable tumor of loss.

She hated knowing that she could lose everything in a moment, but there wasn't a damn thing she could do to stop it, or even slow it down.

She was sprinting at it, full tilt.

She was losing.

—

Artemis sat silently, watching the Holly's beautiful auburn hair reflect the dull light of the cloudy skies, giving it a dull lusted. Her gaze was so distant as she lost herself in a sea of thoughts.

Artemis was lost in thought too.

He remembered how much he cared for her, the moment when the truth hit him in the damaged airplane. Even before he sacrificed himself, he knew it would never be the same. He knew he was hurting her now, but had no idea what to do about it.

He smiled bitterly. He didn't know what to do. A dilemma he rarely faced.

He gazed at Holly's features, somehow being delicate and sharp, yet complimenting one another in a beautiful way that was unique to her.

He ached to tell her exactly that, but feared hurting her more. He was certain she wanted nothing more that for everything to return to as it once was. She wanted their old friendship back.

But how he ached for more.


	2. Chapter 2

Holly's hand rested lightly o n the window's pane, tiny droplets of water beginning to gather on the glass. She watched the beds of flowers Angeline Fowl tended to sway in the winds, their bright colors muted by the overcast skies.

Her gaze wandered to the spiral of rosebushes, tiny orange buds beginning to show where the vines had once been bare, stripped of the beautiful blooms upon Artemis' return. She saw their broad leaves flutter gently in the soft breeze.

Warm tears began to slide down her face as the rain plinked faster against the window, the roses a painful reminder of how much she regained when she got back her whole world.

And lost her heart.

Her shimmering tears joining the raindrops, mirroring one another on either side of the glass.

The one thing she wanted most was for him to finally _see._

Why was he so blind?

—

Artemis gazed out his bedroom window, looking at the vines wrapping around the stone tower. He watched the misting water gather into dense drops, partially obscuring the tower. His vision blurred, not from the rain, but from the tears in his eyes.

He wanted to tell her, but he was so afraid. He knew she was still wounded, still hurt by his betrayal. He had tricked her, drugged her and forced her to watch him die. All before he had the chance to tell her.

He loved her.

Tears dripped to his lap, aching to tell her, afraid of hurting her worse. He had felt it for so long, but only realized it when she was flying the damaged plane. Never had she looked more beautiful, but he knew he could never tell her. Not to have her watch him sacrifice himself. He couldn't do that to her

But, now that he had returned, what could he do?

He couldn't tell her now, he would only seal his fate.

Never had he been so lost, so confused.

He drifted to sleep, tears still slipping down his cheeks.

—

Holly's chin rested on her knees as she watched the rain fall steadily. Her eyelashes were slick with tears, her coffee cheeks damp with salt water.

Why was he so different? What made him so cautious to her? She remembered when the sedative patch on her palm sealed his fate. It sealed her own, too.

She realized she would never get the chance to tell him the truth.

She remembered the soft caress of his lips on her forehead, she pain in his eyes when she learned of his plan. He knew what would happen when he left, but it was the only way. His eyes reflected his fear, but his determination would grow until the fear was all but obliterated.

But he left her before she told him she loved him. That she needed him.

That she couldn't do without him.

Leaning against the glass, she began to nod off, the steady tempo of the rain lulling her to sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

Holly looked helplessly at Artemis from the other side of the Beserker Gate. He spoke, slightly out of sync, but she actually heard very little of it. Tears slid down her filthy face, cutting paths through the grime and dried blood. Her chest constricted as she realized, he's not making it out of this one. He knew going down there was a death sentence, but he went anyway.

Martyrdom. A noble way to go. Orion would be proud.

Unless he realized how much it hurt Holly.

She knew he was doing to to save everyone, but that didn't console her much. She was forced to stand by and watch her best friend, her greatest ally, her love, die for the world. Forced to see the light drain from his eyes, before she even had the chance to tell him she loved him.

Her heart cracked and shattered when he fell.

As Butler lowered the limp boy to the ground, Holly glared at the ravaged remains of Opal Koboi, hating her with every ounce of her being.

She stumbled and fell to her knees beside the Irish boy, tears gathering in her eyes.

Even though her magic was long gone, used to heal the manservant, her chanted cries rang out like an ominous mantra.

"Please, Arty. Please heal." she whispered, before collapsing on top of his still chest.

—

Holly screamed out and awoke in a cold sweat, rain still humming against the window pane. She clutched her heaving sides, the dream looping through her mind.

Her head raised as the door creaked open to reveal a very worried looking Artemis.

"Are you alright, Holly? I heard you scream." he asked.

_He called me Holly._ "Y-Yes, I'm fine. It was just… just a bad dream." her shaking voice told a different story.

Artemis crossed to the window, sitting next to her and curling his arm around the elf's quivering shoulders. She was stiff for a moment, then she leaned into his shoulder. After a moment of hesitation, he wrapped his other arm around her waist.

"You're cold."

Not much of an explanation, but she _was_ cold.

She shifted against his side, positioning herself to sit more comfortably. He held her until she stopped shaking, and longer, until he glanced down to see her curled up asleep. Moving carefully, as not to wake her, he slipped his arms beneath her small body and picked her up gently. He carried her to his room and tucked her into his bed beneath the thick, goose down quilt.

He watched as she shifted a bit, pulling the warm blanket closer. He caught himself smiling a bit at how peaceful she looked. How _beautiful._ Her short hair curled perfectly around her face and onto the crisp white pillow. Her long, thick eyelashes would catch the light and set her mismatched eyes a-sparkling. He leaned down and kissed her glistening auburn hair before quietly leaving the room, the door clicking softly behind him.


	4. Chapter 4

A breeze danced through the surrounding trees, unseasonably warm for late autumn. One alabaster hand cradled a smaller coffee one as they meandered through the delicately lit forest. The smell of the nearby shore off of Dublin's coast laced it with the cool scent of sea salt and mist, the entrancing scent cocooning them. Auburn hair brushed against his shoulder as she dozed, her wide eyes catching the light beautifully, sending shivers down his spine. He slipped his other arm around her slender waist and pulled her close, inhaling grass and citrus.

Never were they met with a more perfect moment.

Holly's eyes fluttered open, light casting a soft glow through the sheer curtains with the morning sunrise. Drops of sunshine reflected off of the photos that covered every surface, images of hers and Artemis' friendship captured in dozens of pictures. Images that held them frozen in times of pure happiness and joy. She remembered every moment of each picture with pristine clarity, still feeling every brush of his fingertips, every breeze through the hair that now feathered at her shoulders. Every lighthearted laugh and every adventure they had shared through the years.

Jerking from the memories at the warm dampness on her face, Holly slid from the bed, pausing just before her feet hit the creamy carpet, when she realized she was in Artemis' room, not at the window sill.

_Artemis must have brought me here._ she thought, before slipping to the floor and leaving the room.

She wandered through the halls for a few minutes, eventually finding herself at the doors of Artemis' study. Taking a deep breath, she pushed open the mahogany doors.

Artemis was sitting at the dark-stained desk, fidgeting with something. His head snapped up when she entered, a metallic clink sounding from his hands when he dropped the object onto the surface of the polished wood.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you." Holly's low voice carried easily across the silent room.

"It isn't a problem." he glanced back down to the object that had clattered to the desk upon her arrival. She walked around the desk, coming to a stop at his side when she saw what he had been fiddling with.

"I thought that this might be able to help me. It reminded me who I was once before. Perhaps it can do it again."

Artemis slipped the gold leafed disk into the slot on his computed, scrolling through the files from the medallion. Finally, he came to the video file.

The tension in the air could have been cut with a knife as he clicked on the file.

His thirteen-year-old face filled the screen as they watched the video. Holly's hands shook as the video played.

Together, they watched the video until the screen was dark.

Looking at his face, Holly saw only more confusion. He only saw what he already knew, but he didn't feel anything but the same. It wasn't the same as restoring memories. The memories were there, they had merely been misplaced.

They just didn't know how to put them back.


End file.
